Waiting Work Boots

Prior to reading, please read my disclaimer.

I shut off my 5:45 am alarm. By trade, I am a teacher. I usually get up at 5:15 on school days. I'm off this week, so why on Earth am I getting up at 5:45 am via alarm? 

.... because of the waiting work boots....

I went into our kitchen to make coffee, and check on Ella, our English Mastiff, who recently had surgery. As I made my way through the living room, there they were by the back door at the end of the couch. Those waiting work boots....

Owning a small business has its perks and its downs. For example, when Elisha was in the hospital after his accident, it was easy to take off work and be with him for so many weeks. Another plus, if your niece has a program she is performing in during the school day or heaven forbid, the Dean of your oldest son calls again for a meeting at school, its easy to leave work and go to those things. The downside? When you aren't at work and you own your own business (assuming you are just starting out in the first few years as we are)...you don't make any money.  There is no "sick leave" or "personal days". You don't work, you don't make money...

So, here I am, early mornings on my days off or afternoons after school, to help my husband sand, paint, mail invoices, send emails, make phone calls, run wood, and today move a huge finished piece to a customers home. We don't have employees, WE are the employees. We are the secretary, finishers, painters, sanders, cutters, and delivery crew. We do it all.

We have a part time high school student who works for us a couple days after school but is with his family this week. We have a friend who helps us occasionally but travels a lot for his own full time job and usually is just a sounding board on the phone. We have my dad, who is a whirl wind of ideas and drops by to check on the progress of certain projects.... but generally, daily.... its just us.

And that's fine with me. Because even though its my week "off", I love working beside my husband. For something WE are building TOGETHER. And our kids.... they see that. They are there in and out at the barn, sometimes sweeping, sometimes just playing outside, sometimes just coming by with my folks to say hello. We hope they see and learn work ethic. We hope they see and learn that hard work is so very worth it for something you believe in.

I watched my parents own their own business for years. My dad had a lawn service business. He started on his own, eventually married my mom, who did the books and helped after school. He eventually ran two crews with Evergreen Lawn Service but never once did he stop going to work every day and working right along side those guys. And let me tell you, those guys on his crew... they were our family. Carlos, Scott, Derrick.... and a few more thrown in the mix. They had dinners with us, picked us girls up for practices if needed, babysat us occasionally.... They were there for us. Because that's what a small business starts out as .... a family.... and hopefully along the way you pick up employees that become family too. And my dad and mom... they were good at it together.

And so, my husband had this dream. He owned his own business years ago with a different industry.....since then he's worked a few other places... but no where he was truly happy at. Now I know work is....well, work. You aren't always supposed to be "Happy" at it. But I think you do better at things you enjoy. So when he came to me wanting to turn his hobby of wood working into a business in May 2016.... I put on my work boots and took a leap of faith....

and here we are.....

Because even though it seems like just a few hours ago, we just took off those waiting work boots....

It is so worth it to put those waiting work boots back on.... to have something our children learn from and will hopefully take over one day. To work side by side, to have him call me even when I'm not at the barn, just to ask me to come see a finished product. To have something that maybe is just now taking off be something WE did TOGEHER.....

Yeah, those waiting work boots.... they will sure have a story to tell one day...

5 Will Always Be My Favorite

Prior to reading this blog, I encourage you to read the Disclaimer, if you haven't already.

All birthdays are special for children....and even some adults...

But for my son, Elisha, his 5th birthday will always be my favorite...

We didn't do anything out of the ordinary...

On the Saturday 9/9/17, prior to his actual birthday, we had some friends and family over. We had cake and games, a hayride and boiled peanuts....a fun filled farm birthday.

Oh my goodness! It was so much fun! But the party and the fun wasn't what made 5 my favorite birthday...

As we prepared for at least outer bands of Hurricane Irma here in Northwest Florida, Cuba, Miami, and other parts of our state were devastated by flooding, horrible winds, and unimaginable wreckage. We watched the news and tracked the storm and tried to explain to our sons how hurricanes form and the devastation they can bring. We made a plan for our home and ourselves in the days leading up to Elisha's 5th birthday, the day we were expected to receive rain and wind from Hurricane Irma.

And I listened to Elisha pray at night.... He prayed about the "big storm." He prayed for God to take away the big storm so it didn't hurt anyone or their pets. (such an animal lover!) 

Wow! Those prayers were so big from such a little guy! And as much as those prayers touched me....they weren't what made 5 my favorite.

On Elisha's actual birthday, September 11,  the actual day itself was relatively "unbirthday". We began by having leftover birthday cake for breakfast...because why the heck not? :) The cake was specially prepared by our beloved friend, Miss Stephanie, so of course it is always the best. 

As we ate our cake, we watched the reading of the names of the September 11 attacks at Ground Zero. My husband and I have spoke of these often and it's something I have stressed as an important day in our country's history and one I remember vividly. We've explained that Mommy was a junior in high school and Daddy was a solider in the Army at the time.  There is something somber and breathtaking, even for children who weren't even born yet, as they watched clips and photos of that day. The marveled at the Ground Zero memorial and pat my handed soothingly as tears came to my eyes as they rang a bell and called for a moment of silence commemorating the moments of the times the planes hit the towers.

Elisha calmly asked why those "bad guys" wanted to knock down that building....and why didn't Daddy just stop them since he was a solider? 

Oh my heart! I love that your Daddy is the biggest and best to you right now and that you recognize a "bad guy" and intense situation when you see one.... but that isn't what makes 5 my favorite.....

After cake and 9/11 remembrance and some playing at home....off we went to see Nana, lunch, and to see Elisha's godfather, Brian, aka Big Tonka, who wasn't able to come to the party. After all this, we went to the store, where Elisha and Wesleigh helped us pick up some soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, hygiene items, and games, puzzles, and books for some folks from the South Florida area who were staying at the church we've been attending. 

Oh how carefully you chose those items Elisha! Making sure that you had things for girls and boys and men and women. No one would be left out from your cart. After careful selection, we purchased our items, and delivered them to the people at our church. Elisha has faithfully told this event to several people and each time my heart swells with pride that he is starting to develop an understanding of what it means to truly be a servant and show Gods Love. And while, as a parent, this is an ultimate goal, and one I pray about frequently....this isn't what makes 5 my favorite.

No... none of these amazing and wonderful things are the reason that 5 will always be my favorite...

The reason 5 will always be my favorite is because he was here for 5.

It takes my breath away...still... to think that 4 could have been his last birthday. And yes, we spend alot of time focusing on the positive, especially to the public.... but oh there have been rough days and nights! There has been physical pain, emotional pain, and even the dreaded phantom pains since the accident....and I've even felt like I caused some of that frustration by my own depression and dealing with the trauma of the whole situation.  At times, I've chosen to express my feelings through writing, which in turn drove some people to be hateful and shunning of our family, which in turn effected all of us in some way....and there are close family and true friends who have seen this....but in general, for Elisha's sake and his supporters, we have chosen to share and advocate the positive with the situation. 

But he has made it. And he does SO WELL. He is amazing part of my perfectly imperfect family....

And no matter how many birthdays we celebrate, how many cards or gifts he gets or doesn't get, how many tasty cakes we have..... even if my Little Tonka lives well into his hundreds.....

5 will always always always be my favorite! 

Happy 5th birthday my sweet not-so-baby-anymore boy, Elisha! 

10 Days Revisited, Months Reflected

If you are just reading my blog for the first time or for the first time in a while, I politely ask that you read my Disclaimer before reading any further. 


Today has been TEN MONTHS since my youngest son, Elisha, had his accident that claimed his arm and had totally changed our family (in joy and in anguish).... so today, I wanted to share what was actually a Facebook post back in October 2016... it was my very first post since the accident. We had just left ICU to a regular room and had been continuing to have surgeries every 3 days. We had no idea what the future held for anyone, all I knew was my son was alive, and I was very very grateful for that.... Here's what I wrote:

October 9, 2016 · 
I've let my husband do the updates on Elisha while I've privately written down my thoughts each day....but today, this morning, as I sit between my son sleeping and a hospital room window watching the sunrise over Pensacola, I felt the need to share my writing from this morning with friends and family here so that even if one person who doesn't know the Lord or one person who doesn't know my gratitude reads this....then it was worth to share my private writings this morning....

It's Been Ten Days

I've always been fascinated with how the Lord reflects uses of certain numbers in the Bible. The number 10 is one of those numbers. The most obvious is the 10 commandments. The phrase "God said" is used 10 times in the creation week in Genesis 1. There were 10 generations that lived up until the time of Noah. There were 10 plagues which are reflective of the completeness of God’s judgment. We are to tithe at least 10 percent. Jesus even used the number 10 repeatedly especially in his parables (10 virgins, 10 lepers, 10 talents, 10 minas/units, etc) And one I love is that there were exactly 10 “I AM’s” spoken by Jesus in the Gospel of John.

Ten days ago, our son lost his hand and part of his left arm in an accident. While we won't ever see his hand again, we have seen nothing but God's hand throughout all of this ordeal. We give all the praise and glory to God for our babies life. That's 10 days of tears, 10 days of public and private prayer, 10 days of reflection. That's 10 days of love and support we have had from our small community that has been amazing. From area churches praying for us, individuals calling and checking on us, and just everyone who has been so supportive of Elisha and our family. To merely say thank you could never adequately express our gratitude.

That's 10 days of medical amazement. We are also so thankful to the doctors, nurses, surgeons, and staff who have constantly checked on us and cared for our son.

Thats 10 days of knowing that God's timing is perfect and His plan is unmatched. He is the Great Physician and he heals all wounds inside and out.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:19

So now.... it's been TEN MONTHS. We've had numerous other hospital stays, surgeries, at home treatments, tears, joys, and love and support from our family, friends, and community.... and truth be told, we've been faced with some harsh realities.... that sometimes like recently, infections pop up unexpectedly, people you thought loved you actually don't, and sometimes... in the midst of a traumatic situation you have to turn to the one who is always Always ALWAYS in your corner.... Jesus.  We have both returned to work, Elisha and Wes back to school... We've hurdled appointments, therapy, family movie nights, and all contributed to our new business, Tekton Millworks.  We have seen Elisha grow and flourish and adapt in ways that we never thought possible.... and as he continues to physically heal, we all continue to heal with him... spiritually, emotionally, mentally.... no it's not always sunshine and roses... and I think that God understands that... cause he never ever promised life would be easy and pretty.... and that's okay....

Because in this ten months of healing, we have learned to embrace this beautiful, zany, somewhat chaotic thing that we call LIFE....

And we are far from perfect... though we strive to serve Him and embrace His word in all we do... we fail miserably... and yet, He still listens. Still loves. Still forgives...

and in the last ten months... that is exactly what we all have needed...

Last night, I spent the evening on the beach with Elisha, while Wes swam in the pool with Lee (Elisha has a picc line and can't get it wet so we settled for walking on the dark beach in the moonlight)

It was beautiful.... it was so quiet and still... with only the waves softly curving to show their white foam and making their swish swish splash towards the shore.... and Elisha just watched... he just seemed to soak it in.... and I said a prayer as I held his hand thanking God for these last ten months... providing me with just what I needed... thanking Him for listening, for loving, for forgiving... and expressing my joy and gratitude for the opportunity to be with my baby boy, on the beach, in the moonlight... watching His amazing creation of the ocean...

God is good.

Disclaimer

Do to the unfortunate nature some of the content on my personal blog have caused in the past due to assumptions or misinterpretations, I have found it necessary to add a Disclaimer so that there is no confusion. Please read the Disclaimer in whole and know that it applies to all individuals, institutions, and organizations in its entirety.

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Love Lifted Me

I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore,

Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more,
But the Master of the sea, heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I.

Love lifted me! Love lifted me!
When nothing else could help
Love lifted me!

All my heart to Him I give, ever to Him I’ll cling
In His blessèd presence live, ever His praises sing,
Love so mighty and so true, merits my soul’s best songs,
Faithful, loving service too, to Him belongs.

Love lifted me! Love lifted me!
When nothing else could help
Love lifted me!

Souls in danger look above, Jesus completely saves,
He will lift you by His love, out of the angry waves.
He’s the Master of the sea, billows His will obey,
He your Savior wants to be, be saved today

The Grass Doesn't Grow Over There Anymore

The grass doesn't grow over there anymore.
The grass isn't dormant, the grass isn't dead,
The grass is in mourning, for the day it turned red.

It was a bright sunny day, as I started my chore.
A favorite past time, I can't do anymore.
Therapeutic for me, while others deplore,
but the grass doesn't grow over there anymore.

My baby was four when he started to run
across the yard chasing me, he was just having fun.
But the fun didn't last over the lawnmowers roar,
Now the grass doesn't grow over there anymore.

In the blink of an eye it was over and done.
I couldn't take it back, couldn't stop it or run
I hit my knees, grabbed him, seeing blood galore
Now the grass doesn't grow over there anymore

Little did I know the journey had just begun,
for me, my family, and especially my son,
I found his tiny hand, mangled forevermore
And the grass doesn't grow over there anymore.

In the following days, not knowing what to do,
I asked the Lord to have mercy,  cause He'd lost a Son once too.
I cried out to God, don't take him to heavens door
Just cause the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

A barren, desolate circle of haste
Is all that remains of that fateful place.
I see it each day, ten feet from the barn door
And the grass doesn't grow over there anymore

The grass has withered and died,
And the dirt won't hold any life.
What remains today is my son, unaware of his strife,
He's as happy as he ever seemed to be before,
Though the grass doesn't grow over there anymore.

The dust is all that remains, and even that blows away.
But I can't ever forget, my most painful day
I relive it each night, it still hurts to the core,
And the grass doesn't grow over there anymore.

--Amanda L.E. Parratt