Elisha's Meme

My heart is torn today over my not-so-baby boy. Friday, Aug. 14, 2015 he spent his last (official) day at his Meme Cheryl's house as he prepares to start K3 at a private Christian school on Monday.

 

Since November 29, 2012 at 10 weeks old, he has been with her. She's been there to see smiles, hear laughter, wipe tears, and help him grow. She's seen him through all those baby and toddler milestones. She's kept me updated on his days when I had to work and couldn't be there.  She and her family mean the world to me and I can't express the gratitude and overwhelming love I have for this amazing woman.

Choosing to place my child at an in home child care full of Christian values and love was one of the best decisions I've made for my little one. I've sought advice and she's willingly offered it, parentally and personally.

I know Elisha will miss her and his routine with her. I will miss her too. If I was the one blessed enough to drop him off or pick him up, it was always a joy to go in a speak to her. I'm sure some days she thought I'd never leave... but I did, and I always knew I'd be back to chat the next day.

On Monday, Aug 17, 2015, my BABY (who's not such a baby anymore) starts a new journey in K-3. He will expand on the things he knows and learn new things. He will get a star on a Bible Verse chart for knowing his memory verse each week. He'll be a helper and a leader. He'll play on a playground and do puzzles with friends. He'll have a new teacher, Ms. D.

Yes, he'll do all these things and more. But I will never forget the person who gave him that start. I could never have done it alone. I admire stay at home moms and I really wish I could have had that opportunity. But I didn't and that's okay. Providing for my family and being there for a very special group of kids was what I needed to do at the time. God had another plan for me at the time and He sent a special person, Meme Cheryl, to be there with my baby. Beyond being there for him, she was there for ME. When my husband was in between jobs, she was there to understand. When I was having a bad day, she was there to listen even briefly. When my family had an emergency, she was there to show compassion. When something funny happened, she was there to listen and laugh. When LIFE happened, she was there... even when she didn't know it.

We love you Meme Cheryl. We thank you for the memories, the love, the laughter, and the support.

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you...." Philippians 1:3

Peace & Blessings,

Amanda

Numbered Days

Sometimes you read or hear something at THAT moment... And it hits you. And it sticks. And it hurts and brings joy all at the same time....

It had been a day. I had been up all night with my husband as he was sick. The two nights before were similarly lacking in sleep. After being up with him, I still dressed and got everyone ready to go for the day. I sat through an all day technology training at school only to rush to the grocery store, pick up my toddler, and spend ONE hour with my family before heading to VBS with my children at church.
After our three hour vbs adventure we got home. I fed the kids a snack and got them bathed and ready for bed. My toddler was especially hyped up from vbs and all I wanted was sleep. My still sick husband couldn't help much and in my tiredness I found myself being irritated with my toddler as I get him to calm him down. Finally I scrolled through Facebook tonight after a deliriously long day as my toddler squirmed in my lap sipping his milk. This is what I read....

http://hannahhelpme.com/blog/when-did-i-last-wash-your-hair/

And THIS is what stood out to me...

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."


Psalm 90:12

Here I was being selfish... Feeling tired and cranky and just plain wore out from being a mom, a wife, a teacher, and a vbs worker.... And Gods putting it in my face that these times are to be cherished.... Because these days are numbered....
My days with my toddler who's hyped up after being in Gods house learning about His word.... Are numbered....
My days to bathe him and get him ready for bed and listen to his little baby prayers in bed.... Are numbered....
Y'all it is my prayer that I gain wisdom in my heart. That I don't let these precious times go by me. 

And maybe...just maybe... There someone else out there who needs to remember their days are numbered too....

Church vs. a gathering of people

My family was excited to have come across an event for a local church, which I will not name here...., on Facebook after a friend shared it. This event for was advertised as Community Wide on the 4th of July. My family visited the church almost 3 years ago on a Sunday morning. At the time we lived in further away and had commitments to our current church. Upon a move to a closer area to this church, we have been discussing visiting this church again hoping to find a new church home for our family. We were excited to attend the 4th of July event in order to perhaps meet people and other families of the church and look forward to visiting for services.

Upon arriving around noon, it was storming so we waited in our car until we saw people moving about again. My husband and I got out, along with our two sons, ages 2 and 10. We could see families and groups of people, some eating, children playing on the slides and such. We were all so excited. My husband watched our sons play while I got in line to get a plate of food to share with my family. Upon entering, I noticed something was different, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I stood in line, shoulder to shoulder with the people in front of and behind me. I smiled nicely and said hello. Awkward hellos were said back and then backs turned to me as they continued conversing with others that they obviously knew. I got some food and headed out and sat at an empty picnic table alone. I caught my husbands eye and he came over quickly to take a quick bite with our toddler, then went back to the slide to supervise the boys. I smiled and made eye contact with everyone who passed me as I ate.... some looked away awkwardly and quickly as to not acknowledge someone who obviously didn't attend that church. I watched small groups of people laugh and talk. I threw away my trash and joined my husband and children. I asked my husband if anyone had spoken to him and he said no. I asked if anyone had introduced themselves or invited him to church and he again replied no asking me the same questions.... and I replied... no. After being at your church event for an hour and a half... no one had spoken or even sent a welcoming gesture....so we left.... and we were hurt.

I wrote an email to this churches pastor expressing my concerns. I didn't write this email or this blog post to bash this church or disgrace them in anyway. I am sure that church is full of loving individuals and wonderful programs that are working for the Glory of His Kingdom. I wrote the letter and this blog post out of concern.  I write this with compassion to tell you that first impressions can be lasting impressions. Concern because as a Christian, I was an outcast at this church event, not welcomed, not greeted, not even looked at for more than an awkward passing glance from an abundance of people there. And it was painfully obvious that these were members of the church, not strangers who just happened to strike up a conversation. I am a Christian, and I can see this.... but what about those who might have attended who were not? Those who looked different? Spoke different? Acted differently? Were they treated the same way as my family and I were?

There are many scriptures that I could share concerning this but the one that is put on my heart is Matthew 25:34-40....

 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"

This church advertised this as "Community Wide" .. but maybe what was meant by community was "The community of THIS Church -  if you attend here and we know you -- otherwise we hurtfully ignore you"....but what I saw a gathering of people... not a church.... The world has enough people, but not enough disciples... Being a Christian is more than something you claim. It's something you live by and share with others... and maybe this is something that this church needs to build on and work towards. Maybe several churches need to work.on this because its not the first time I've seen it happen....

I will be praying for this church and the people of the "community" that might come to know Christ through them.... And I encourage others who go to other chuurches to evaluate how they are towards newcomers whether it be at a church service or a community event.

"Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God." Romans 15:7

Being the change and needing the change....

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

This past few weeks I've encountered things that I neither agree with nor understand. And I've come to see that there are test of strength and test of weakness and maybe sometimes not understanding is a test of both.  Sometimes in those moments of not understanding you're too blinded by anxiety, hurt, and lack of friendship and patience to see the big picture. Or maybe you're not meant to see the big picture.

And I'm trying so hard to wrap my mind around some things...

Y'all, a degree without experience is just a pretty piece of paper. Clinical settings is not the same as a school setting. A "typical" school is not the same as one in high poverty.  A view from the trenches is not the same as the view from the top. And buyers remorse.... well that can have detrimental effects....

And as much as I feel like I should jump ship before it turns into moving chairs around on the Titanic.... I can't.... Because I hold onto that TRUST.... And I want so bad to make a difference. To be the change...

.... But part of me just needed a change....