When trying to decide on a new blog topic, it was suggested by a dear friend that I write about loving your enemies. My reply to this was, "I should, but it would be very hard right now." (NOTE: Obviously this is a person who knows my current situation very well.) His reply was simple and profound, "All the more reason. Even if your honest about how hard it is."
Well, itching to avoid writing a blog about forgiving and loving my enemies, I did everything possible to avoid it. I went for a run. I did laundry. I rearranged everything in my drawers and on my computer. I added new books to my Kindle. Anything, everything to avoid writing about enemies.
Enemies: plural of en·e·my (Noun) : A Person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.
Enemies: THAT person. THAT thought that has consumed my thoughts for days, weeks, months. THAT thing that has kept me up nights, and made me mad during the days. THAT cause of anxiety, stress, tears, heartache, anger, guilt, and yes even irrational thoughts.
I'd like to pause a minute and point out that I purposely and passionately run from drama. I don't like arguing. My motto about arguing is: let's agree to disagree and MOVE ON.
MOVE ON: That's the problem. I've been trying to move on. Move on with my career, my life, my relationships, my WHOLE WORLD and there's just one person who just can't seem to let it go. It's almost their obsession it seems. Now, sometimes people might seem flattered to be the object of someone's obsession, however, I find it just plain creepy and strange. Not to mention disheartening that their obsession includes lies to complete strangers that prohibite me from moving on with my life in some ways.
In my struggle to move on and their total opposition to moving on, I have found my thoughts consumed with them. How to seek revenge, how to make them pay, how to make them feel the way they have made me feel. In recent months, not only how they have made me feel but how they have made those closest to me feel. I have found myself wondering, is this their goal? To make their obsession of me consume my thoughts?
AND THE GUILT SETS IN: The guilt for thinking these thoughts, these unholy, un-Christian, selfish, hurtful thoughts about someone... which led me straight to the Good Book to search for answers. And answer's I found. See some below:
Romans 12:17-21
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Matthew 5:44
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Luke 6:27
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
Matthew 18:15
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
So there it is, straight from the Word of God. To forgive those who sin against you just as God in Christ forgave you. To do good to those who hate you. To love your enemies. To take care of your enemies (by offering them the things they need, as this will be like heaping coals on their head). And then the most difficult one for me: In Matthew 5:44, PRAY FOR THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU.
AH HA! Lightbult moment: DARN, I've been doing this all wrong. Don't get me wrong my prayer life has reversed 360 degrees in the last year. But perhaps about this particular situation, I've been praying for the wrong thing. I've been praying for God to protect me, to help me, to make this person go away (yes, sadly, I've even prayed for God just to make them drop off the face of the earth in times that I was seriously hurting from things they had done to me....HEY, I'm HONEST, we've all thought it at some time about someone).... but with that scripture, I realized I need to pray for this person to be touched by God's love and forgiveness. And yes, at some point even my own forgiveness.
In addition to searching the Bible, I also found a few quotes that at a minimum made me smile and reflect on the situation."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
Oscar Wilde
I love this one. As I'm learning to forgive this person, I hope that this person feels my forgiveness. I hope they know how hard it was to forgive them for hurting me... mentally, emotionally, financely. I hope they know that more than how they hurt me, I didn't appreciate them attacking and targeting my friends and family. I want them to learn to forgive the same way I'm learning to forgive.
"You have enemies? Good...that means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
― Winston S. Churchill
Well, that is EXACTLY what started all of this in the first place. As we've already covered, I'm relatively low key in that I try very hard not to start drama, be involved in drama, or associate with those who thrive upon drama... however, in the situation that started this, it was that I was standing up for what was right. I don't regret it. I wouldn't change it. Even though it has caused me all this pain, I know from my head to my toes that I did what was right in standing up and speaking up in the situation. Yeah, I made an enemy... unfortunately, not just an enemy, but an obessed bully....but I still did the right thing...
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." John F. Kennedy
As long as I live, I will never forget this person. Perhaps I will, in time, learn to forgive this person, but I at this point, I feel like I will never forget them. I know that as painful and trying as this situation is, I know that I'm learning from the situation. And I've learned from this person.... I've learned it is EXACTLY the type of person I DO NOT want to be.
It is my hope in the next year, after things are more settled (send up prayers and cross your fingers), that I will be able to write more openly and detailed about this situation and the heartache and learning experiences I've had from it. In the mean time, I'm trying to forgive, and dilegently praying...
Joy and Blessings,
Amanda
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