Cause there are these kids... And sometimes I dread them, but usually I want to be around them. I want to know there stories... And I want to help them write new chapters.... And sometimes I can't so as much as I want because of obligated paperwork... But sometimes you learn about some previous chapters.... And you just want to rewrite them....
"Let's go ahead back to class.... I will stay with you a while...."
"Okay..." [Reluctantly]
"You are such a pretty girl.... And Harmonee is such a pretty name.... Do you know what it means?"
[Long pause thinking] "No..... Wait, yes.... I think it means peace."
"You're right, great job, do you know what peace means?"
"Yeah, I think peace means when everything feels okay and everyone is okay with each other."
I try so hard not to get attached to kids.... Especially at a high transfer school.... And even after several hours at the doctor...even as I lay here in pain, caused by this precious #6 of 8, I only have thoughts of harmony for her.... Thoughts of peace for her, thoughts of desire to make everything feel okay for her.... I want her next experiences in her chapters of her life to be those that don't make her feel sad and angry and unloved....
So until those chapters are written, until drastic changes occur, or until I figure out how to give her all the support and love she's ever needed.... I will have "thoughts of harmony to allow experiences of Harmonee".
My body will always heal.... God bless these children who break my heart and stir up my soul for efforts to help them beyond my reach.
Peace & Blessings.......
Amanda
